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Carl Pilsecker 2019 Folk Dance Federation of California, South, Inc.

Limericks
By by Carl Pilsecker

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Carl Pilsecker consistently created Limerick gems over a period of 7½ years beginning with the April 2012 issue of Folk Dance Scene. An amazing achievement in talent and dedication. Here they are all in one place!


LIMERICK

A cocky dancer invited inspection:
He would lead Karamfil to perfection.
     But as we recall,
     Pride leads to a fall.
He turned – twice – in the wrong direction.


LIMERICK

Here's a tale of romance, mi amigo:
A young man overstuffed with libido
     Sought out a folk dance,
     And there, just by chance,
Fell in love while doing Corrido.


LIMERICK

Though Sicilian, he thought Šetnja was neat.
Why? "It's because of the way that I eat.
     With a load of pasta in tow,
     I like to start slow,
Then, shift up to a much faster beat."


LIMERICK

It's a quirky story they're tellin'
About a slap-happy dancer named Kellen:
     Though a klutz with his feet,
     He just cannot be beat
At D'Hammerschmiedsg'sellen.


SEPTEMBER POETRY

A Turkish chieftain lusted for fame,
But at the battlefield no enemy came.
     A fine kettle of fish!
     Still, Ali Pasha got his wish
By adorning a dance with his name.


LIMERICK

Farmers, I'm told, talk of tillage,
And Huns would discuss ways to pillage.
     Lend folk dancer an ear
     And what do you hear?
"Thats how it's done in MY village."


LIMERICK

"Dancers Without Borders" are we.
On wings of dance we roam the world free.
     Some dances are old,
     Like Syrto, so we're told,
While Çobankat was born by Lee Otterholt.


LIMERICK

It was awesome to see how they fought so;
His "It is so" was her "It is not so."
     Yet these two contrarians,
     When morphed into Bulgarians,
Happily clasped hands to dance to Arnautsko.


TO MY POETIC PARTNER

Would you like to be my valentine?
No need for candy or wine.
     To make my heart churn
     Let's dance Scottische d'Auvergne,
And have your eyes say you want to be mine.


LIMERICK

Bodies are floating around the floor;
One just passed, here come some more!
     I've lost my way
     On Culla Bay.
Will I ever reach the shore?


LIMERICK

There was a young dancer named Roland,
Who wandered from highland to lowland
     In search of a dance
     That was filled with romance.
Success! Found Kujawiaks by Ada from Poland.


FOLK DANCER'S LAMENT

Muscles complain when I'm out on the floor;
Even Šano Dušo turns into a chore.
     While other folks flit,
     I mostly just sit
And pray Tylenol will make me a dancer once more.


THERAPY

If she seemed down he knew just how to fix 'er:
He'd request they do Swedish-Finn Mixer.
     While spinning the floor
     Her spirits would soar.
It worked better than a souped-up elixer.


LIMERICK

A feisty folk dancer one night
Was accused of starting a fight.
     "Dont just blame me,"
     He said heatedly.
"It takes two to Zwiefacher. Right?"


HER FACEBOOK REPORT

His name, he said, was "just Kevin."
He danced like a creature from Heaven.
     We cavorted with aplomb,
     And then came the bomb:
My prince became a frog at eleven.


LIMERICK

They left the dance where they met with a smile;
Tried dancing together a short while.
     But it wasn't a go:
     He liked Mari Mariko,
And Haroa Haktana was her style.


LIMERICK

Let me tell you of a time I felt silly:
"Food is next," I told partner Millie.
     "Better tune up your eyes,"
     Millie said in surprise.
"The board says Chilili, not chili."


LIMERICK

He intended to impress his Main Squeeze
By learning the new dance with great ease.
     His hopes started to dim
     When Teacher gently told him:
"Friend, use you other left foot, please."


LIMERICK

My dreams were providing a treat:
I was folk dancing on the nimblest of feet.
     Then Alunelul's dream stamps
     Brought on real-life leg cramps.
What a nightmare! I bailed tout de suite.


LIMERICK

For years it had been his prime mission,
And now he'd achieved his ambition!
     As he basked in his glory
     His medal told the great story:
"First Prize, County Fair Chicken Dance Competition."


LIMERICK

There were some slights she just couldn't pardon,
And hurts that made her heart harden.
     But she then realized
     These could be exorcized
By the smiles she exchanged in Drapers Garden.


LIMERICK

There was a folk dancer named Gen
Who was looking for a prince among men.
     Doudlebská Polka brought her Dean,
     Who was seeking a queen.
The two made a royal exit at ten.


LAME-RICK

Rick danced like a prince, his nose in the air,
Then became a peasant and hopped like a hare.
     But he let out a roar
     And limped from the floor!
No Masquerade – his foot really needed repair.


HER SECRET

There was a spry dancer named Susie,
Who was known far and wide as a doozy.
     Hoe'd she jump, bounce, and hop,
     Twist and turn without stop?
Dancing done – a soak in her Jacuzzi.


A TRUE STORY

"You look like a polka person," said HE.
"You're right, I am," replied SHE.
     Then – wouldn't you know it –
     This limericker and this poet
Through dancing turned into a WE!*
Whoopee!

     *November 17, 2007


LIMERICK

There was a Greek dancer named Jenna
Whose hair was a bright shade of henna.
     When she'd start to feel cranky,
     She'd grab her silk hanky
And lead Papadhopandiotena.


LIMERICK

If dances from Taiwan interest you,
Call on newlyweds Wen-Li and Sue.
     Of course, their expertise
     Is not just Taiwanese –
They'll teach you Jingle Bells, too.


PASADENA WINTERFEST

It was a miniature vacation,
A day of celebration.
     In a Pasadena hall,
     Dancers, stretching wall to wall,
Enjoyed circumnavigation.


LIMERICK

Mom said I was a dancin' fool,
And so she sent me to dancing school,
     Where I wrote a brief essay
     About Kirčo Sedeše;
Earned my degree by strutting Rustemul.


LIMERICK

Biserka's the dance that I sought;
Bojarka's the dance that I got.
     Still, it tickled my ribs,
     For they're very close sibs.
Yes, I liked what I got a whole lot.


LIMERICK

My legs danced out, near time to go,
I requested Lesnoto 'cause it's slow.
     What a disaster!
     It kept getting faster!
Turned out the dance was Lesnoto Oro.


LIMERICK

"Such strange names," the new dancer opined.
"Trying to recall them puts me in a bind."
     So, in his notebook he'd list 'em,
     Using his mnemonic device system.
Cracker Kolo brings Nebesko to mind.


LIMERICK

A folk dancer named Katie Mendoza
Was a track star around Santa Rosa.
     When her team won a meet,
     For their victory treat
She led them in Savila se Bela Loza.


LIMERICK

As Fred sat in his house in Encino,
Savoring his breakfast cappuccino,
     He thought of last night –
     Oh, what a delight –
To meet Fay while dancing Svekrvino.


A TRIP TO INDIA

We journeyed in anticipation
Of viewing dances of the great Indian nation.
     We saw a few from their lore,
     But what rules the dance floor?
Are Bollywood moves, a new dance creation?


A BAD NIGHT

"You look pained," I said to friend Louie.
"I am," he replied. "It's just screwy.
     This whole blessed night,
     Not one dance was just right.
Even messed up Îni Vițuii!"


SHOWDOWN AT WINTERFEST

Or fearless leader calls out the play;
We stomp our feet, prepared for the fray.
     The other team scowls;
     We emit gruesome growls.
Sitna Zborenka is now underway!


LIMERICK
     Hora Mireșii (Bride's Hora) is danced by friends and family of the bride prior to a wedding in some Romanian villages.
     After the ceremony, the bride will leave her village to live in the village of her husband.

She'll cut an old bond, as if by a knife;
A new bond will transform her to a wife.
     Rejoicing in her gain,
     Reflecting on our pain,
We dance to joy and sorrow called life.


LIMERICK

A free-spirited bloke from Mt. Rocha
For breakfast mixed beer with his mocha.
     He dressed in weird pants
     And his favorite dance
Was Bohemian National Polka.


CLOUD NINE
     This elaborate tale is the result of Carl's wish for something special for his Limerick #40.

The newcomer's name tag read: "Heather";
Her steps were as light as a feather.
     Swept up by her beauty,
     Joe saw his clear duty,
Chose Shifting Bobbins to weave them together.

Then they coupled for To Ting, Dodi Li;
Held hands dancing At Va'ani.
     'Twas like drinking fine wine,
     Joe soared on Cloud Nine.
Oh, let the evening go endlessly.

But Fate, for poor Joe, had no pity.
Heather said, "I'm not from this city.
     Time to leave for my flight;
     I fly home tonight."
Joe's fall from Cloud Nine wasn't pretty.

He gathered his wits: "One last dance?"
She frowned, gave her watch a quick glance.
     "Do you know Gypsy Wine?
     It's a favorite of mine."
Joe gulped, but it was his last chance.

He'd danced Gypsy Wine long ago.
Right shoulder, left . . . I don't know.
     But Heather inspired,
     Joe moved as required.
For a moment Cloud Nine reclaimed Joe.

     End of the story?


LIMERICK

He arrived at our club with a story
Of folk dancing to fame, even glory.
     But we soon were suspicious,
     And it all seemed fictitious,
When he didn't know the dance Tino Mori.


LIMERICK

A gift to the world from Japan!
A dance for each woman and man!
     With steps fast and slow;
     It's Pokemon-go.
Grab your phone, move your feet, and then scan.


FAMILY LIFE EDUCATION

Go ahead, gather up your mother,
And your father, sister, and brother.
     Then teach T'fillati;
     And they'll clearly see:
One good turn deserves yet another.


LIMERICK

Al is the kind of guy
Who likes to evoke: "My, oh my."
     Once, just for fun,
     Dancing Ada's #1*,
He took a selfie while slapping his thigh.

     *Ada's Kujawiak #1


LIMERICK
     (Reader participation required)

Bill had just broken up with Valaria,
Needed to get out of the area.
     A folk dancer goes where
     For a breath of fresh air?
(IN UNISON) A Trip to Bavaria.


LIMERICK

Folk dancer Jane shook her head,
Watching the clapping and jumping by Fred.
     "At our house he's a brick;
     Won't move a lick."
"Take home a bottle of Anjzerica," Doc said.


LIMERICK

You've learned all about the Big Bang;
You've heard the bells of Notre Dame clang.
     But life's not complete
     'Til you've moved arms and feet
To Zhan Zai Gao Gang Shang.


LIMERICK

No one dances more vigorously than Miles.
He turns all the "whoop-de-doo" dials.
     To dance is to leap.
     (He once fell asleep
While performing Road to the Isles.)


ONCE UPON A TIME . . .

Zillertaller was a dance I could whup.
Back when I was a pup.
     Used to drop to the ground,
     While she danced all around.
Now I'd need a derrick to get up.


WINDOW PAIN

Das Fenster introduced me to Kay;
Through our window her charms flowed my way.
     It was love at first stare,
     I was dancing on air.
But another guy stole her! Oy, vey!


LIMERICK

Want to make your repertoire complete?
Learn the dance for folks with sore feet:
     Lo Ahavti Dai
     Lets you holler, "Aye, aye."
(As long as it's on the right beat.)


LIMERICK

"Toe, toe, heel, toe," again shouted Will,
Teaching Sauerlander Quadrille.
     They ignored his commands;
     Will threw up his hands.
"Hands part of the dance?" queried Phil.


LOUSIANA SATURDAY NIGHT

Hit my eye as I came in the door:
A ton of shoes all 'round the floor.
     Threw mine on a pile,
     Danced mile after mile.
Night's end, shoes weren't there anymore.


LIMERICK

Leading a dance was to Bud a confection,
But he wouldn't put up with correction.
     Because of this bent
     His troops often went
In the perverse line of direction.


LIMERICK

Arnold didn't allow hesitation:
Arnold's Circle is a good illustration.
     You move with great haste;
     There's no time to waste
If you're to get to the right destination.

     (No, we're not talking Schwarzenegger.)


LIMERICK

See that couple on the floor a-prancin'?
It's Gay Gordons that they're a-dancin'.
     Both old as the hills,
     But still getting thrills.
You might even think they're romancin'.


LIMERICK

Here's some wonderful news:
I found the answer to lingering blues!
     Folk dancing's the cure.
     But next time, for sure,
I heed the flyer: Wear Comfortable Shoes.


LIMERICK

Ron is known as the club scalawag.
He's the butt of many a gag.
     Yet every lady in the hall
     Will answer, "Yes!" to his call,
If he says to her, Maple Leaf Rag?


LIMERICK

You won't believe what happened to Gwen
When she danced Vrtielka with Ben:
     She slipped in his grasp,
     Spun to the floor with a gasp,
Finished the dance on the sidelines with Ken!


TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

A Polish guy took his Polish pal
To meet a sweet Polish gal.
     Alas, 'twas too late.
     She had found her mate
While dancing Polonez Royale.

     (If you've read this saying Polonez, next month, read it again, saying Polonaise. And vice versa.)


LIMERICK

Horehronsky Čardáš is a treat,
With a smooth and pleasurable beat.
     A Slovakian gift,
     That provides us a lift.
(But spelling it is quite a feat.)


A TRUE STORY

On the Sweets of May dance toboggan
The arch move had us ziggin' and zoggin' (?).
     I ducked when I shouldn't;
     Ralph tried to miss but couldn't.
We both got a whack on the noggin.


LIMERICK

This is hot off the press!

Time for me to confess:
I can turn Fado into a mess.
     Is it side to the right?
     But try as I might,
Steps become a Portuguess.


LIMERICK

Our rookie studied the playlist sigh.
"I don't know the dance next in line.
     It is Seeroon Aghcheeg;
     Is it out of my league?"
"Do Sweet Girl and you'll really be fine."


LIMERICK

A folk dancer I know loves to brag;
Can't stop him without affixing a gag.
     Last night I just ran
     As he really began;
"Lit a fire with my Salty Dog Rag . . ."

     (Continued on page 52)


ONCE A FOLK DANCER . . .
     (A True Story)

Opsai Diri was a favorite of Stan,
Who danced to the end of life's span.
     When he heard his dance play,
     You'd better make way;
He didn't walk to the circle, he ran.


Used with permission of the author.
As published in issues of Folk Dance Scene from April of 2012 to March of 2019.